Can you believe this shit?
Look what’s in my wallet:
Saved mementos of mine,
A couple of dimes,
A movie stub from our first date,
A license from another state,
A CPR card to use at will—
But no fuckin dollar bills!

I thought being a grown up
Was being able to afford stuff, so

I might deal drugs oh oh
I might deal drugs

A golden ticket in a chocolate bar,
Bob Barker yelling, “you got a new car!”
A “Silver Spoons” train going through the living room—
Somehow I thought I’d get that shit too
But like George Bailey said:
I’m worth less alive than dead.
MBNA don’t want the former
They’re prob’ly plotting my murder.

Need to collect cans from the trash
To build a coin stash or

I might deal drugs oh oh
I might deal drugs oh oh

And it might be just money, honey
but ain't it funny, honey?
That I need a Medici family?

When the rapper Ice-T said:
“It’s about the dope and dead presidents”
I never understood what he meant,
But now it’s starting to make sense.
A metro card costs two dollars?
This city’s got me by the collar.
When people talk about 401-Ks
I make sure to look the other way.

The world’s oldest profession now don’t seem out of the question.

I might deal drugs
I might deal drugs
I might deal drugs

---

Money issues suck.