The best thing I can think of is to drive to the panhandle of any state
Though they look like the skinniest parts, I hear they can hold the most weight

And you can bet that the roads are empty
And you can bet that there’s some horseplay
And you can bet that the streets are dead

And that’s the best I can do right now
And that’s the best I can do, some how
And that’s the best I can do
Best I can do
Right now

That vendor on 44th street has been trying to sell me the same hot dog for five years
Now I don’t know what he soaks those dogs in, but I think I got some valid fears

And somewhere the plains do not end
Where I can shuck fuckin corn for nourishment
Leave behind tasteless cement

And that’s the best I can do right now
And that’s the best I can do, somehow
And that’s the best I can do
Best I can do
Right now

I’m gonna set up in a Red State
Order a shot of pink Pepto next to a red steak
Order food so cheap it comes on a blue plate
Then maybe I might not feel so blue, blue, blue

New York used to not give me heartburn, but now this Big Apple has made me dyspeptic
Stomped block to block with horse-blinders on, I used to be so fuckin myopic

My stomach ain’t gurgling up something good
Food goes in reverse, from acid to food
Want to get out to go somewhere good

And that’s the best I can do right now
And that’s the best I can do, somehow
And that’s the best I can do
Best I can do
Right now